My Deepest Fear: The Growth Files Pt.1 "Vivian"

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In Him, We are Free

 free·dom   ˈfrēdəm/
noun

  the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without  hindrance or restraint.
 Freedom
  "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is,  there is freedom" 

          ( 2 Corinthians 3:17)

Freedom. A word that has such a high cost and an even higher reward. Yet most of us don't permit ourselves space to achieve this great reward. We get too caught up in who or what the world believes we should be...and that is the first mistake in trying to obtain freedom. There is only one true source of freedom. Territories, provinces, nations, kingdoms,  and governments fight, beg, borrow and still in order to obtain, or maintain this reward. For a moment,  it may be obtained, but not kept for long, without having to resort to some sort of battle. God is the only one who gives it and actually wants us to keep it.

Recently, I was in church and the elder spoke of Freedom in Christ. Long after service ended, this notion stuck with me. So much so that the next time I opened my bible, the spirit led my study to Freedom in Christ. Below is an account of my studies as well as personal application of having a Freedom in Christ. So rather, than just read, I sought a deeper understanding and began to research. In my searching I crossed a study done by Charles Stanley. So I printed it and got to work...

Freedom in Christ comes in more than one form. First, we will examine 

Freedom From the Bondage of Sin

 

In my studies I read, Romans 7:19-20, James 1:14-15, and Luke 4:17-19. I will emphasize Luke 4:18-19, which reads "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

This spoke to me because I know I have a call on my life. I know that God has pulled me from the norm and set me aside to do extraordinary things. And being caught in a human existence as a spiritual being, sometimes I fall victim to conviction from my brothers and sisters on Earth and schemes of the enemy. I begin to believe what others say of me, or I begin to think I'm not worthy of God's anointing or of his mercies. But I am also aware that I have authority to expect great things to come of my life. And as a child of a king, I automatically am legacy and as such have a special duty. To whom much is given, much is required. Although many are called, I learned early the necessity of salvation, and that I was chosen. And despite how much I may shy away from it, or run from it, or ignore it, the call always echoes in my spirit.

Do not be bound by your sins...you are worthy. You are capable. God qualifies the called. If God calls you, go. Go with the abundance that comes from God himself through his spirit. Walk in it. It was given to you with the expectation that God's will be carried out through you, His vessel. The sooner you understand this life not being yours, but a gift from God, the easier it will become. And you won't think twice of giving it to anyone other than Him...to edify his kingdom.

Secondly, my studies taught me that in Freedom in Christ, you have Freedom from Guilt

 

Gods word tells us that  "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" ( I John 1:9). So, why do I run around anchored in self inflicted guilt when God has already forgiven me and cast out all shackles? Because the enemy and his workers want me to feel that way. In feeling guilty, you separate yourself from God. You block your freedom. "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God"...my debt has already been paid. 

This is a difficult lesson to remember as a sinner. Things around me seemed to want to keep me from what God has appointed for my life. Pulling at my mind, tugging at my heartstrings, leaving my spirit and belly stricken with pain or anguish...all to separate me, from what my Father has for me...you ever been there? But guess what, Jesus died on Calvary so that you and I could live freely. So carrying this, I was anchored...so I had to let it go. 

And through prayer and meditation, sometimes coupled with tears and cries to God...while I was alone, that's exactly what I did. LET GO...

And here's the test...once you let go...don't pick it back up. Cast it into the sea of forgive and forgetfulness...and leave it there. Leaving it clears space so that God may fill your cup so that you can walk into what He has for you.

Are you afraid of Death? This silent anchor (for some) keeps you from experiencing the best God has for you. In Life, there is Death. The Lord giveth and he taketh away, and in Christ, there is 

Freedom from Fear of Death

I personally, do not fear death. I do, however struggle with grief...no one likes to be without loved ones. And if you are anything like me, you feel like a piece of you goes when your loved one passes to be with the Father. But in this...we fail God. God grants us freedom from that fear. 

"We, as believers, grieve differently that non believers. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words." 

( 1 Thessalonians 4:14-18)

God gives us hope.  In this text, Paul gives us comfort in death; telling us that those we lose we will see again in Heaven. When you let these words marinate in your heart and mind, it only makes perfect sense to believe what we find in John 14:2-3. After we die, we will see the face of God. I don't know about you, but that is peace. Peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of spirit...freedom, which allows you to let your loved one rest in peace.

This next portion Freedom from ceremonial law and man-made religious traditions, caught me at the jugular. In Galations 5:1, God's word tells us to live a life of love as Jesus did. That's all I'm trying to do...

You ever get caught in, or boxed into laws or traditions, that stifle your growth and work in Christ? I have for sure. I delivered my trial sermon at age 22. When I did, I had to go before a board of examiner's before receiving my local preacher's license, it was tradition in my denomination. Before the board, I had to explain why I felt I was called to ministry and in what way I felt I was supposed to minister. After this explanation I was then to explain which area of the church I wanted to minister in. I decided youth. I was told that there was no appointed position in the denomination to minister to youth...at this point I was dumbfounded. What do you mean? So, does that mean I can't minister to youth? 

At this point, I will say that I didn't know what to do. All i could do was sit through that meeting. Once I was done, the next day I was given my local preacher's license, after which I was to begin my denominational training. I did this, and made it through my first year. But I felt boxed in already. Not that I couldn't fall under leadership, but I felt I was trapped to minister according to the denominational standards. I wasn't comfortable. Still eager to minister, though...I pressed on.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm openly gay. The traditional black church, tends to tiptoe around the issue, or completely ignore the fact that many people leave the church as they are treated differently because of their sexual preference. I, too, have left my denomination. But the church never left my heart, nor did my call. If you have been following my writings and poetry from the beginnings, you probably noticed that I transitioned from a secular, more humanistic word flow, to a more spiritual realm in my writing. This is of no coincidence. I told myself, this is who I am, and who I am in Christ is one with a call, to minister. So my writing is reflective of that. This was my second form of bondage. I had to remove those shackles to remain obedient to God. Currently, if you are wondering, I am a new member at a non-denominational church. I am in new members classes, that upon completion I will be ready to minister in one of the various ministries as well as able to continue pursuit of ministry training...my obedience despite the shackles I once had, has brought me full circle and right back to where God would have me to be.

Your spiritual growth isn't contingent upon your ability to follow religious standards set by others...

God wants us to be free in every capacity on every level. In seeking God's will for my life, I was able to stay away from the bondage of  unforgiveness and living a life without love. My past could have left me unable to forgive those who have come against me, and because I endured a point in life where depression took hold of me and I felt unloved, I could have lost out one of the greatest gifts God gave me, the ability to love...and love again...if it wasn't for God and his mercy in my life...my life would be unfulfilled and therefore without testimony...where would I be? I remind myself of what I could have been, and I'm thankful I'm not that. Sometimes we have to remove the blinders of situation and circumstance and recognize God's deliverance and freedom we receive as his child...its amazing to think God thought it not robbery to deliver you and keep you free of deception...only He has the ability to do that, unceasingly...despite all you may do to fall short of the mark...

Through my relationship with God, I have learned some biblical truths. Learning to walk in faith is a great lesson, that seems to never go out of style. Every test that has come before me that called upon my faith has revealed more to me about God and myself than I could have ever attempted to comprehend on my own. The power forgiveness has allowed me to still feel, to live, to breath, to exercise my gifts and to edify and build his kingdom. Being obedient has allowed people to walk into my life and teach me lessons and reveal things to me to help me in my own endeavors, by divine intervention. Nothing I did or could do on my own. I am so thankful for who I'm becoming in Him.

The freedom we have in God is not comparable to anything else. This freedom gives us the ability to move mountains, forgive who and what the Earth sees as unforgivable, and the ability to love even though we feel unloved...Learn of your identity in Christ. And pray for a deeper understanding all the while thanking Him for who he has made you thus far.

Peace for the Journey...

Puppetmaster

The sooner you learn the tricks

The easier it becomes to navigate this

Life as we know it changes on the daily

The moves and stills become what makes we

Strings attached to your every move

Watching waiting maneuvering all of you

Frustrated and inflated with taxation

Yet no representation

Of any concentration of negotiation

To draw the line

In time we grow to see

What controls the shows we star in

Casted upon by those in high places

Strangely enough we never see the faces

Just taken on trips and flips

As characters of misfits

And mules of working class

Yet no class in session

To carry us through recession

Leading to depression

Diminishing the souls attempt

Of getting ahead

The rules are simply as follows

Stretch to the left and collect

Lean to the right and fight

Fall to your knees and depend upon thee

To be cleansed of the wrath

Of inexplicable circumstance

Beyond your control

As the puppet master rips at the soul

And preys upon those striving

Steadily trying

To get ahead

No child left behind

As the mother stays on the daily grind

The father incarcerated or steadily intoxicated

Or maybe even taken

The chance to fight circumstance

To breathe life into his family

Yet everyday all he sees

Is more debt than he can comprehend

So the familial unit is lost

And uncle sam’s found

That pound for pound

And inch for in

The puppet master has the way out

A debt ceiling upon a nation

Too stuck on self to see

The truth within smoke filled clouds

Enemies at every door

Eager to uncover and discover

All secrets have been revealed

Conspiracy Theories checked out

And the puppet master chimed in

Leaving us no choice to check in

And lean left or right

Yet no help in sight

Realizing the only help that truly matters

Comes from above

No puppet master can keep up

Nor decipher, straight up

The moves that will be made

No blueprint has he gave

Just faith for the journey ahead

Ensuring the struggle not dead

Putting the puppetmaster to sleep

As it falls to defeat

Peace

Copyright © 2013 Sagacious Pen

My Life Wheel

From the shelf...

Herein lies a step in a journey...

Every journey begins with the first step..

I would like you to journey with me...

Earlier this week, I posted about a Life Wheel project I was going to begin this week. 

(Details can be found at this link)

"Let it remind you of God's desire for you to be whole."

If put into practice appropriately, this statement brings to life the "Life Wheel" agenda. Not only through the development of the wheel do yo give yourself a chance to re-align your purpose, but you also get to focus in on those energies that keep you motivated to carry out your purpose. God has a plan for your life. You have the freedom to chose to accept the call, or run and suffer immensely at the fault of your own denial. There's too much work to be done. And each of us has a role..

Upon arriving at the finished product, you can internalize all that needs to be done, all that you haven't done, what has happened in your life as a lack in one area v. overemphasis in another. Life requires balance, as it keeps the soul and spirit tuned to the heart and mind...so that as an entity of existence...you can accomplish greatness. Not everyone's wheel will be the same, or have the same goals, but by listening to God and studying the recommended scriptures, you can zone in on your own route and how to balance yourself. Its very humbling and awakening.

If you want to leave the space you're in, If you want to enrich your life in any way...take time to do this exercise. It eliminates the not-so-important stuff and prioritizes everything else. It brings you closer to the author and finisher of your faith and existence and helps you realize who you are in him...what God has for you is for you! Take the time and get to know Him so he can show you your purpose.

Happy Enrichment!!!

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Spiritual Growth

I'm A Big Kid Now

(In Christ)

Spiritual Growth: The process of becoming a more productive christian, which is accomplished through increasing one's knowledge and understanding of Jesus and the Bible

It's been said 2014 is the year of transformations. For many of us, on various levels in our lives, this is taking place. We may not be aware of it, but in our lives, we are letting go, we are working toward something, we are striving to be greater, we hunger for something more...we are growing. not everyone or everything can accompany you on your journey. who you were yesterday is no longer valid today. You can't do what you used to do today or tomorrow or the day after, because it doesn't fit who you are trying to become. you may find yourself at some sort of crossroads...decision to be made...and you're afraid.

But you realize that what you feel tugging at you has to happen, because if it doesn't everything up until this moment will seem a waste. you called upon this moment in your prayers, your journeys. you have proclaimed this for your life at some point prior to the present and decided it was going to be etched into your destiny...but, you're afraid. 

Something in your spirit is whispering that you can trust the unknown, trust that your future is already written to be great. the things that have held you back from moving on, you know you must release to move forward, but its as if you feet are firmly stuck in the "now" because now is comfortable. now is the same day in and out, but you know you deserve better. so you waste time dwelling in what used to be, or what has been written into your life as your comfort zone...but in order to continue this journey...you have to step out of your comfort zone...that's where all the magic happens.

Its in moments we thirst for the magic, but fear the unknown that we should remind ourselves of  Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God before us, who can be against us?

We already realized a change must occur and we have to be greater than we ever were before, but you just can't seem to shake the feeling of fear anchored to your feet and soothed over in comfort....but, God's word tells us in Romans 8:18  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us...
Nothing we endure is worth comparison to what God has in store for us...

Note: Its important to understand that in this moment...things are going to get tough. The moment you proclaim greater for yourself is the very moment the challenges begin. Its as if all the sleeping monsters and evildoers were hibernating and have rested...the heard you proclaim and aim to be greater than before and the woke up...and they are standing on every corner of your mind, dwelling in the belly of your spirit, swinging through the echoes in the wind...they are coming for you...and you can't escape them no matter how hard you try...you have to defeat them...individually. You must stare every fear you have in you, and every pain you haven't released, you must cast out every demon, and everyone and everything that has held you back, must become a footstool...this calls to memory Luke 10: 17-19, Luke 10:17-19, "And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord,even the devils are subject unto us through thy name. And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven. Behold, I give unto you power (translates to AUTHORITY) to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you." 

So rather than run to the hills and hide...take in what you have read...exhale...and press through the enemies advances on your spirit, and trust Jesus to be in the midst. 

By this point, you should have noticed that God has an answer to any obstacle before you. ..and this journey you are on requires Spiritual Growth..

God has planted the seed in your mind, heart and spirit. You have what is necessary to water, feed, and nurture that seed...and the seed will grow in your spirit. And what you are striving to obtain or transform into will manifest in your life...congratulations...you have the tools to grow!

Peace for the journey...

Let Go...

It's Time...

You feel like..."but if I say No, they will be upset with me", "It happened once, so why wouldn't it happen again?", "It's not real...it will change, as usual"....

You're exactly right...almost. Yes, it will change because change is constant. But with change, comes new experiences, new opportunities. Another chance... Sometimes that's all that's needed...One More Chance

To get it right. One more opportunity for you to see what there is out there for you. Another chance to do it right. Another chance to make something of your self, and find out who sees and is willing to help get you there...LOVE

Sometimes we won't get out of our own way. For whatever reason from our pasts, we have allowed that to take control over our present...a gift. In our pasts, we have been hurt. We have been pain stricken. We have grown tired. We have felt like we couldn't go any further, but here we are. Further...and its no mistake that the present was given to us. We try and try to protect ourselves from being burned repeatedly. But God's word tells us, weeping may endure for a night. But joy, cometh in the morning. Maybe your daybreak is right around the corner but you are too blind to see it because all you identify with is yesterday's hurt...

And you keep re living this hurt in your mind. You keep tracing the lines of the pain felt in your spirit, the last time someone broke you down. Trampled on your existence, or denied you what you feel you deserved. And it hurts, but you can't continue to re live those moments, and have an eye to the hills...you will never get THERE, because you are anchored to your past

Thinking and re thinking your past existence, is neglect to your present. Its a turning of a blind eye to the time God has granted you DESPITE what has happened, and what you have been through. What we tend to see as bad, or sad, etc. is what God ALWAYS sees for good. It may not feel good (initially) or it may not be in the package you wanted it in, but its yours...and you have a choice to do what you want with it. But why take the trip through your past and bring it into the present, demolishing any opportunity that came with a new day, new space, new place, new opportunity.

Its a difficult process, its hard, it takes diligence, and its VERY uncomfortable. But its very necessary. You may envision plans for your future. You may want this...and strive to do that, but none of it will be accomplished by living in or being anchored to your past. And your past may still live in your present in different forms, it may be a partner, it may be friend, it may be a situation...you keep re living...that's all you identify with...that means its manifested in your soul as what I like to refer to as the norm - that everyday existence...what you think (because of what you have been told), what you feel (because of what has been done to you), what you say (because you feel a need to protect yourself from being hurt again), and what you do (because its how you responded before)...be ye not conformed...Romans 12:2...be changed by your experience...a cycle...

The cycle: 

A. 

God places something in front of you (either you identify yourself in him and know what he asks of you OR you don't...and you suffer)...

B. 

You respond 

(you either are OPEN to the transformation or you are not, and you go back to A)...

C. 

You are OPEN 

(there will be pain, but not everlasting, unless you dwell there; there will be discomfort, and you will get vexed; you will be stretched in ways you never thought, and if you resist, you will return to A; if you don't you will GROW)...

D.

 You will have a testimony to share...

and then you will go to A.

This cycle is part of human evolution...it cannot be escaped, but there are variables. Your response determines your level (or letter). 

When you decide to let go, and go through the cycle, life becomes easier. That which is your past doesn't really matter, because you have moved on. Moving on causes God to pour more into you...drawing you closer to him and his plan for your life. Moving on, is movement...you are busy...too busy to be concerned with where you used to be, but maintaining where you are, because it feels better than your past...you have grown, you have matured, you are stronger, more capable...you have found a better place

Let Go...

Peace for the Journey...

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